Gotta Dig Deep…
Your character is determined by what you do when no one is looking. ~ Someone, Somewhere, Some Year
That’s a quote we often refer to, though I’m sure we’ve butchered it along the way.
My son is a grinder. He loves the workout. We often refer to him as a labrador. Get him in a routine and he thrives. He’s rarely the kid at the front of the line, but he is the first kid to raise his hand for a workout rotation at practice. Need someone to demonstrate the pushup, wall squat, or plank? He’s your guy. He’ll be the first kid out there picking balls up in the cages between rotations. He’ll be out on the field picking up cones or raking the field after practice. He plays right field. Rarely is he the last kid off the field, even if his dugout is on the 3rd base side. He hustles out and back.
But without that structure, when no one’s looking? That’s where he’s struggling to find his grind. He’s got all the tools at home - a hitting net and tee, a home gym with weights, jump ropes, slam balls, etc., to name a few items. He’s got the training to have proper weightlifting form.
He has chosen to go out for his high school football team. He’s never played tackle football. I’m not gonna lie - I’m more than a little nervous. He had his first 3 weeks of practice and he excelled. He was near the top of the group in the physical tests like speed and agility. He’s been a pretty solid middle linebacker, picking off passes and disrupting those over-the-middle throws.
We’re also in the last few days of his first CIF-mandated dead period. Where it’s on him to keep up the workout routine. To get better without the structure of time with coaches and in the weight room.
I was impressed because on day 1 of the dead period, the quarterback called on a few of the receivers to meet up to run routes. I thought it was a great sign. He found a group of kids who were committed to working together as teammates to get better during their dead period. But, that was short-lived. Kids went on vacation, the 4th of July long weekend hit, and now it’s on him to do the work by himself.
He started with a list of the things he would do each day. He’s my kid. Lists keep us focused and accountable. So he did his squats, pushups, jump roping, and running, adding the checkmark each day to each activity. Then we went on vacation, and he was off schedule. The workouts were less structured. He lost the drive and without his list, he lost the accountability.
I’m waiting to see the commitment and dedication that happens when he’s on the field translate to work off the field. I’m pulling for him to find his inner drive. I do believe it’ll happen. He had a similar path with schoolwork. It all came so easy to him - he was acing tests, no homework, no book reports. Everything was done in school. When he started to have homework and group projects outside of class, he had to establish the habits. And he eventually got there after a few growing pains.
As a parent, I struggle with how much input and guidance I offer vs. letting him figure it out for himself. I won’t be at his practice on Monday. I won’t be on campus in August. I won’t be in that locker room. It has to come from him. I can gently nudge him in the right direction. I can drop hints about ways to get into that routine. Until he wants it himself, or until his lack of outside-of-practice effort impacts the team or his place on the team, he won’t change his habits. Or, said differently, he won’t establish the right habits. But when it happens, when that switch flips, watch out world. When he puts the same energy and focus and determination he shows on the field and now in the classroom into his workout routine, there is nothing that will stop him from achieving what he sets out to do.
